you typed.. blog

(Monday, January 30, 2006-)
+2:46 AM]*

# late nights ALWAYS do this to me.-

ugh. i don't have anyone to talk to! this stupid blog is just all i have to post.. and the people who reply to it aren't even here all the time. come and go.

how i love you tremendously, night time,
for giving me the opportunity to feel SO LOW,
and so dead in the sense that i'm so cold. my fears are
fed as i sit in the dark on the chair in my house here by myself
so close so far from everybody anybody that can hear me
i HATE sobbing so HORRIBLY that i wish i can kill my tears. i
want to be so fake and so cold and emotionless so that my sadness
in all its infinite properties can wilt inside me and leave me
whole and warm and happy
my goal tonight is to cover up all
my emptiness with a saran wrap of a plastic front so i can walk around tomorrow and be
myself, i, and the girl formerly known as me

the story ends like this..
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(Saturday, January 28, 2006-)
+2:46 PM]*

# :-(-

if a poem could fix my heart, i'd read it everyday.

the story ends like this..
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+12:14 AM]*

# the coolest run-in with cops ever! starring two stupid indian men!-

tonight was absolutly hilarious.

more details to follow, but just know that two stupid ass indian guys were fucking around with the Sandy.. and the cops were called. for what, who the fuck knows! basically, these two men were being stupid, so we in turn were being dumb. i took some no-flash photos of the event. 2 fine officers from Schaumburg were called to "handle" the dispute. what morons. they threw waterbottles AND CDS out of their little honda racers.. "i have my wife and three children in the car! ..shouldn't be driving like that."

Mike's responce: " I dont care if you have babies strapped to your roof..."
LOL hilariousness. pictures enclosed for your viewing pleasure.

a thumb's up from mike... i know it's blurry!

one of the 2 squad cars. LOL

you could see the crazies... right behind Mike...

the story ends like this..
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(Friday, January 27, 2006-)
+12:04 PM]*

# my favorite poem.-

it may not always be so; and i say
that if your lips, which i have loved, should touch
another's, and your dear strong fingers clutch
his heart, as mine in time not far away;
if on another's face your sweet hair lay
in such a silence as i know, or such
great writhing words as, uttering overmuch,
stand helplessly before the spirit at bay;

if this should be, i say if this should be--
you of my heart, send me a little word;
that i may go unto him, and take his hands,
saying, Accept all happiness from me.
Then shall i turn my face, and hear one bird
sing terribly afar in the lost lands.

--ee cummings

the story ends like this..
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(Wednesday, January 25, 2006-)
+12:58 AM]*

# YAY!-

NOSE! PIERCED! LOVE THE LITTLE ONE! (he makes me so brave)

the story ends like this..
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(Sunday, January 22, 2006-)
+8:57 PM]*

# I AM SO SAD!-

ugh. today was such garbage. i made money.. but i gave some away, and i totally regret giving it. i feel like a fucking pushover.

I WANT TO DO SOMETHING! i'm so bored, and tired, and loney..

:-(

the story ends like this..
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(Saturday, January 21, 2006-)
+2:06 PM]*

# hm..-

work today. at 5:30. i'm tired.. i think it's because i'm sad. but it's all good.

i tried the moca lite drink, and it tastes like water. the splenda tastes good in it though.

i burned myself a cd last night. it was fun. and i tried "sushi."

the snow was so pretty. now the sun is out. :-/

i'm pretty confused as of late. i don't know about anything anymore. ah.

let's just smile and be happy. . and maybe today will go by fast.
:-)

the story ends like this..
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(Friday, January 20, 2006-)
+2:11 PM]*

# first friday off!-

yes. i am excited.

i just woke up.

i love you.

the story ends like this..
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(Monday, January 16, 2006-)
+7:54 PM]*

# -

..hey!! i worked 29 hours this weekend. and i have yet to pierce my nose.

tried today to go and see Dras, but he wasn't working.

tomorrow, tomorrow.

i had the adrenaline rush and everything..... :-(

the story ends like this..
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(Saturday, January 14, 2006-)
+3:03 AM]*

# here alone...-

just got home from work. i was stiffed twice by large tables. oh well, i suppose.

still haven't gotten the piercing i want.

it was snowing. i love large, puffy flakes! they make me happy..

i am totally free tomorrow night. after work.. yay!

well, i am going to bed. call me.

i love you.

the story ends like this..
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(Friday, January 13, 2006-)
+1:11 AM]*

# i am watching ewe.-

the story ends like this..
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(Thursday, January 12, 2006-)
+6:40 PM]*

# even Timmy is napping...-

my jeep sucks..

tonight kinda sucks...

i need something/someone to do/be with.

call.

i beg you.

the story ends like this..
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(Wednesday, January 11, 2006-)
+12:15 PM]*

# water extravaganza! starring Tim Chee and the EVIL faucet of DEATH!-

there! is the evil faucet that is poisoning Timmy's mind with curiosity

there! is Timofeee in a sexy pose, watching the water drip steadily into the Culver's cup.

there! is TIMMCHEE attacking the evil s.o.b

water is fun. :-)

the story ends like this..
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(Tuesday, January 10, 2006-)
+3:57 PM]*

# work and.. no, just work.-

hi.

went out for breakfast today. i had a good time.

now, i have work at 5 until 11:30. it's money.. so i can't complain. especially since i want a piercing.
speaking of that, i'm still debating on the lip....or nose. i NEED something done. :-)
soon.

i am off tomorrow. yes.

school starts in a week, but i have no class on tuesdays. which is sweet!

i am quite tired.

call me!

the story ends like this..
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(Monday, January 09, 2006-)
+9:11 PM]*

# day after the birthday-

yes. 19. excellent. my favorite.

i can't wait unti i'm 21. 19 is such a tease...

axle says hi, and so does timmy.

the story ends like this..
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(Sunday, January 08, 2006-)
+4:02 PM]*

# birthday!!-

i'm feeling alot better today. :-) wooo!!!

happy birthday to meee.

the story ends like this..
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(Saturday, January 07, 2006-)
+4:31 AM]*

# just got home!-

i am tired.

but i can't fall asleep!!

the story ends like this..
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(Friday, January 06, 2006-)
+10:59 AM]*

# dumb day.-

nothing is EVER going to be better. it really isn't.

this is so INHUMANELY retarded it is unbelievable. stupid shit. yep.

fucking dentist's appointment this morning. i'm looking forward to sitting in a chair for an hour bored out of my mind. at least some guy will be digging around in my mouth.

i hate myself, alot, and i pretty much hate everyone else too.

i thought i couldn't cry anymore, but i was wrong.

the story ends like this..
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+1:32 AM]*

# life sucks and then you die-

read the title.

i'm reading a story about a little boy named Dibs who has locked himself up in his own mental prison. the poor kid is so lonely and heartbroken that he doesn' talk to anyone or eat. he doesn't play... he just sulks.

it's based on a true story.

of who?

*smiles*

you have the pleasure of knowing her.

fuck tonight, fuck every night. and most of all, fuck you.

the story ends like this..
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(Thursday, January 05, 2006-)
+6:17 PM]*

# leaving-

the story ends like this..
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+9:38 AM]*

# day 1-

tired. cold. lonely.

i miss you.

i am tired.

the story ends like this..
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(Wednesday, January 04, 2006-)
+1:40 AM]*

# STOP FEELING, FEELINGS-

i just wish there was a way to shut your brain off so it'll stop talking so fast and so loud.. and it will let you sleep, eat, and think. without thinking of where he is, what he's doing and how bad it hurts. out of the dozens of people i know.. who is there.

it is almost 2 o clock. i can't fall asleep. i have work at 11 tomorrow until 4. that sucks ASS! i don't know what to do with myself anymore.

the fact is, there isn't anyone willing to return phone calls, listen to their voice messages or check their emails.
maybe people are just tired of *me*.
i might be tired of me too.

the story ends like this..
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(Tuesday, January 03, 2006-)
+10:42 PM]*

# i miss you-

truly.. i do.

lonely.. bored. tired.

work tomorrow at 11-4.

please love me.

the story ends like this..
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(Monday, January 02, 2006-)
+9:54 AM]*

# newsflash-

nobody cares.

the story ends like this..
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+9:48 AM]*

# everything sucks.-

i didn't get much sleep again, so my head hurts.

started on the "medication" and maybe that is what made me feel horrible last night.

yeah. not happy. i'm trying to stay positive, but my effort is crashing and burning.

the story ends like this..
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(Sunday, January 01, 2006-)
+3:07 PM]*

# painting nails.-

i'm trying to make myself happy, but it isn't working. it's ok...

well, i'm free today.. in case anyone wants to be with me. :)

the story ends like this..
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+5:19 AM]*

# just plain sad-

i found something i shouldn't have, i can't fall asleep, and i'm really lonely...

someone just make me feel better.

the story ends like this..
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