you typed.. blog

(Sunday, December 30, 2007-)
+11:44 PM]*

# a new year already?-

hello! i haven't posted in so long. it's been an amazing year and i hope all is well with everyone! i've never been so happy... and i wish all the best for everyone in 2008!

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Sunday, May 27, 2007-)
+12:14 AM]*

# a new post.-

nobody reads this anymore.

i haven't posted anything. i haven't felt a need to.

now i need to vent.

my life changed that summer day in freshman year. it didn't change for the better. i can't hold stable relationships. i feel broken. i'm an attention sponge.

nobody knows me for who i am. truly. the truth. nobody gives a FUCK. my words are as empty as my heart. i try so hard to open up, but nobody listens.. my words fall on deaf ears. nobody's lives would be affected. i'm a passing fad. i can be forgotten. pity will be felt for a few seconds. i don't mean anything seriously to anyone. nobody will die of a broken heart because i cease to live. and that's how it will always be. i feel sick. my existence right now is flawed tremendously. i feel like there is nothing i can do to break my shell. i'm stuck inside my own bubble.

i have no friends.
my life is stagnant.
the fireworks have left me.

my existence is depressed.

oh well, i guess.

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Monday, March 26, 2007-)
+4:54 PM]*

# my baby kitten!-

i know i haven't posted in a really long time, but if anyone has seen my kitten, could you please bring him home to me?

i'm at barrington road and lake street area in Hanover Park, IL.

:-( please bring him home to me!

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Friday, January 05, 2007-)
+11:03 PM]*

# depression.-

i hate night time.

i feel very low.

i can't wait to cuddle with my memories, and sleep with dahlia's clothes. and the pictures of when mike and i loved each other, and when i was happy and when he loved me so much. i'll stay warm against the first note he gave me that he sent through the high school. you have no idea how happy that made me. i'll sit with dahlia's baby pictures, and wish that i could be next to her, and holding her and being her mom like i should have. because she'd love me and then i'd find out what love means.

i'll dream about waking up everyday to him kissing my face and giving me great big body hugs that made me so happy. i'll smile when i feel my butterfly kisses against my cheek. i'll pretend we just got home from prom. loving each other, and being close. falling asleep in the morning sun, and swimming together when we wake up. i'll be stuck in that tent under the stars thinking about how good we feel next to each other, and about how 24 hours a day isn't enough. i remember being content with sitting at home, just being near each other. i kissed every part of his body, and i would do it again every night.

i'm very depressed, obviously. change of location hasn't helped. i'm just stuck in my lonely rut by myself. i feel discarded and abandoned. my situation is grave.

so here i am.

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Sunday, December 31, 2006-)
+10:08 AM]*

# have a happy new year!-

many bad things happened, but equally good things did happen also.

i can't wait for a good year.
and this might be it!

be safe tonight, and have a great time!

love you..

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Wednesday, December 06, 2006-)
+9:11 PM]*

# depressing-

http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/opinion/columns/article_1194966.php

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Thursday, November 30, 2006-)
+1:15 PM]*

# beep beep-

it's going to snow today and meep and i are going to watch my FAVORITE CHRISTMAS MOVIE EVER. yay! i'm so excited.

don't forget to say rabbit rabbit tonight at midnight. or else you'll have NO luck during the next month. i need lots of luck, so i must say it.

i'm feeling a bit better than i have been. i'm tired, but that's ok, right?

i need to take a shower and get ready to go to school. if you get stuck in a ditch tonight, feel free to call me and i'll dig yew out.

yesterday, the little bee and i drove around after getting my movies, and we stole an albino baby jesus. when mike ran up to the manger, he pulled the baby jesus out and whoosh. the whole house went dark. what kind of circut is that? maybe you know..

i have an extra special event happening tonight. will write more later. it involves a concert and a fire alarm! haha.

i can't wait for monday. cannot wait!!

love you. love me? e!

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Tuesday, November 14, 2006-)
+7:42 PM]*

# maybe?-

cheep is gone again. say hullo to my (hopefully) future darling..

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Monday, November 13, 2006-)
+3:40 PM]*

# -

La la la I'm Rachel and I think I am so smart by breaking into Andy's blog and making a retarded post. I just wish I was so so so smart so I'd remember to log out of my own blog so nobody even So so so so smarter than me made a silly post...

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Thursday, November 09, 2006-)
+12:52 PM]*

# to poor andy-

i'm sorry i was being mean to you.

here is a beautiful picture that i found that reminded me of you.

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

+12:20 PM]*

# oh joy! happiness!! christmas! rankin and bass!!-

http://www.mortysmall.com/rankin_bass.shtml

THESE ARE ALL OUT ON DVD.. i need to find them, that way my happiness will be completed. these shows complete christmas for me. i love it.

Have a Jolly Holiday With Three Christmas Classics on One DVD From Rankin-Bass, the producers that brought you "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town" includes...."The Year Without a Santa Claus", "Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey", AND "Rudolph's Shiny New Year". yayayayay!!!

Santa Claus is Comin' to Town/The Little Drummer Boy/Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer/Frosty the Snowman/Frosty Returns (3-DVD Gift Collection)

i have no idea if these are on DVD... maybe i can record them off of TV when they play this year. YAY!
Jack Frost(1979) VHSJack Frost [DVD](1979) DVDJack decides to spend a day on Earth as a human, and winds up falling in love with a mortal girl, in this wonderful, wintry animated tale. Buddy Hackett, Robert Morse and the inimitable Larry Storch supply voices. 50 min.

Rudolph And Frosty's Christmas In July(1979) VHSNow Christmas comes twice a year, as two of your favorite holiday characters team up to solve the mystery of Rudolph's unshiny nose in a delightful animated festival. Red Buttons, Mickey Rooney, Ethel Merman, Shelley Winters and Jackie Vernon supply the voices. 97 min.

Frosty's Winter Wonderland(1976) VHSThe lovable snowman is back, but his plans to marry the (snow) woman of his dreams are threatened by wicked Jack Frost. With the voices of Jackie Vernon, Andy Griffith, Shelley Winters. 23 min

The First Christmas: The Story Of The First Christmas Snow(1975) VHSStop-motion animation helps tell the tale of a blind boy in 19th-century France who wishes to experience snow at Christmas and receives a Yuletide miracle. Voices by Angela Lansbury and Cyril Ritchard. 23 min.

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Thursday, November 02, 2006-)
+12:34 PM]*

# howdy-

it snowed today. we were all wrong. fluffy, small/medium size flakes. it was pretty awesome.

i am working quite a bit this week. exciting. 1130-20 friday, saturday AND sunday. woo.

borat comes out tomorrow. it'll be good. dur.. i already know it will! ;-)

i am quite out of it today. i think the lack of sleep and the concussion just makes my life that much more interesting.

i started playing Harvest Moon again yesterday, and i am seriously thinking about getting an action replay for my gamecube so i could win. yay! don't be jealous of my intense gaming skillz.

anyways... i have an hour until my next class starts. fun!

enjoy your thursday!

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Tuesday, October 31, 2006-)
+12:06 PM]*

# 'morning.-

happy halloween again. yay.

today, i made goodie bags for my favorite people in my life. yay, right? i am so excited for tomorrow, because tomorrow starts november and november 1st is 30 days away from december. score, right?

i was very tired this morning, but ma made me get up because we had people coming in to fix the carpet. er put in the carpet. my mom painted the walls this brown color (so i'm told) and the carpet is brown too. awesome. we're going to get a flat screen tv and put it in between the windows.

last night, i went to a haunted house and i was scared. what's new. they kept breathing on me. and i was scared. eek. Andy said that they targeted me because i was a big baby, and they could smell fear. i agree. i also carved pumpkins last night. i am very excited because my ma is roasting pumpkin seeds. if i was able to ToT tonight, i would have gone as a witch. it would've been awesome. but alas, school. maybe classes will be cancelled and my lab will be disbanded too. i miss doing halloween stuff. Axle is going to be a mouse tonight. precious, isn't it?

i am feeling a little tired today, but nothing too horrible. i still have a bit of my chemistry homework to work on. today will go fast, i'm sure.

anyways... i am hoping for snow sometime within the next 2 weeks. think it will happen? i don't, but i can wish, right?

this has been the most pointless blogging brought to you by the letter R.

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

+1:20 AM]*

# the 31st-

i am on andy's pretty little laptop. aren't i special. he has this big clippy thing and it's scaring me. yay.

well then.

hoppy halloween!

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Thursday, October 26, 2006-)
+12:59 PM]*

# does anyone have any exact date....-

on when WLIT is going to start playing christmas music? i am desperate for some christmas happiness!!!

the award for the best person to talk to on a sad Thursday morning goes to the lovely Eric. much love and thanks, darling.

http://www.MakeCountdowns.com/show.php?id=32567

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Tuesday, October 24, 2006-)
+12:09 PM]*

# an addition.-

i am very needy. additions to my xmas list. woo!

-ipass for all my tollway needs
-a slinky. those things are awesome. they scare Timmy
-the complete set of rankin and bass christmas tv shows.. ya know.. the claymation.
-a charlie brown christmas tree complete with a red ornament.
-did i mention that i want a sexy purse?

ok. now, in other news..

this guy that i used to talk to who decided he wasn't going to talk to me anymore because of my "issues." i know that's not a complete sentence, but i found it hilarious that right before i deleted him from my myspace, that i was going to go in and see if he deleted the stuff that i put on his message board thing. alas, he didn't. maybe because i was complimenting him half of the time i posted on there. i HATE people that are too wrapped up in themselves that always have to have everything revolve around them and their wants. that's messed up.

lately, i've been going through alot of crap with my family and my ex. i'm not a bitter, sad person at all. NOT AT ALL. i'm slightly mysterious and spread around my feelings much, but other than that, i'm an carefree, jovial person. i take delight in the small, good things. and that's GOOD. any person that isn't willing to stick through me going through shit isn't a person worth having around AT ALL. i'm the type of person that will stick with someone through everything and anything. no exceptions. you help me, i help you. i try to do as much as i possibly can for someone, and it hurts to be rejected. but pshaw.

lessons learned.
lesson: never talk to someone you're not physically attracted to, and justify it with the fact that he has a decent job and is somewhat interesting.
lesson: anyone that doesn't want to talk to you, or like you for who you are and not your BREAST size isn't worth worrying or crying over. never. i love everybody, but damn. dont hurt me for it.

haha. you don't have me!

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Thursday, October 19, 2006-)
+11:44 AM]*

# my darlings.-

i made brownies and cookies last night. exciting. uhm. i have a list. i know you like it when i make lists, so i will!

my favorite holiday is coming up. well, A holiday is coming up. so i have to be excited by default.

the first draft of my christmas/birthday list!!!!

- ipod. or an mp3 player. maybe it would make me happy. maybe not.
- a new cat that doesn't run away and make me run into bramble bushes and ruin my fleece coat. BOOO.
- a yj. preferably a '94. Champagne colored. you could trade my jeep for it too.
- one of those cute Mercedes that are of the hatchback flavor.
- a new phone. one that won't die after talking to someone for a half hour.
- the new RHCP cd. score, right? that would be sweet.
- a new purse. a really pretty one that makes me cry. that i will NEVER use (that's a lie).
- a pretty 18g nose stud screw-in turny one. preferably a white stone. or green. or blue. no black or red please.
- my tuition being paid for.
- my lift put on my xj.
- love
- gift card to Ikea. IKEA!!!!
- having someone that wants to be around me
- carriage ride in the city behind the coolest horse named Oprah.

that is my tentative list of wants. it looks like alot. but. its not. ok?

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Saturday, October 14, 2006-)
+12:27 PM]*

# i am so smart.-

work tonight. i'm at harper with my little sister. fun.

this is my 322 post.

marathon running time is going to start on Monday. gotta get ready for the BEST SPORT EVER! heh.

hope everyone is ok. i've been ok. things are starting to come together nicely and i'm feeling alot better. it's been a trying last couple of months.. but things are looking up.

i love holidays. LOVE THEM!
if anyone has anything they need to have cleaned (entire apartments, houses, rooms.. ect) look me up. because i'm awesome like that. i'm actually a great cleaner. i need to start making money for the holidays. the cool/unfortunate thing about having big families is that there are ALOT of presents that go around. i AM your english speaking polish lady OF CHOICE, remember? hehe.

give me a call today. i'll only be at work. i can stop and talk to you. you are THAT important.

i've decided i have to be passionate about everything now. what's the use of being passionate with a dozen things if there's still a dozen things that don't get your attention.

if anyone sees a REALLY cute albino hamster, send it my way. i'm looking for a new pet. Timmy keeps eating my flowers. he shall be turned into a rug.

i'm making Tim and Axhole a jacket. matching little rainbow ones. SO CUTE!

anyways.. enjoy your evening/day. and hope you have a splendid weekend. if anyone wants to go to a haunted house or to get blue pumpkins with me, speak forever or hold your peace!!!!

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Thursday, October 12, 2006-)
+6:44 PM]*

# -

dearest internet community that is too bored to do anything besides read this,

hello.

hopefully life is going well on your side of the monitor. right now, i am at school after my bio class. today we learned. isn't that swell?

i am exhausted today. wanna know why? i did SO MUCH yesterday.
let's see..
got home at 5
slept until 12
went to get help from a teacher at 2.
got home at 5.
slept until 9.
sat crying/talking to people until 1.
fell asleep and woke up at 10.

are you proud of me? i also only ate 2 things yesterday. yayayay. ma's veggie soup and popcorn.

my eyes really hurt and my jeep isn't working. today i drove the Panda to school. that thing is a riot.. in a bad way. i feel like such an idiot.

i heard one of my siblings say "crapper" yesterday in reference to my brother. THAT was awesome. i love rubbing off badly on them. muah ha ha haaa.

i don't work tomorrow. but i do work on Saturday from 17-24 and from 11 to 8 on Sunday. awesome, right?!

ok. now's the time where i ask you oh so nicely to think kindly of me. and love me tremendously. i've gone through alot over the last month. leave me some love. somewhere, mmmmk?

yours SO truly,
'Che

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Friday, September 01, 2006-)
+10:32 AM]*

# reasons to be happy-

1. i met a really nice guy who makes me happy
2. the weather is really nice out.
3. i love sweatshirts
4. ikea is god.
5. Timmy and Axe are funny
6. i love alk3 and emo music. it's great to cry to.
7. my ability to force myself to cry is pretty funny.
8. i have no plans tonight, which means that i might have plans.
9. i have money, so i should go buy myself a new purse.
10. i'll get money from cleaning up Mike's house
11. i want to be happy so bad that i end up being happy.
12. i'm thinking about changing majors (again) but this new major might make me REALLY happy.
13. my mom's laugh
14. apple picking, septemberfest, halloween, thanksgiving, christmas, new years, my birthday, valentine's day all within the next 5 months!!!!!!!!!!! how can that NOT make me happy?!?!
15. the feeling of being in love
16. filling the void
17. being alive, i suppose.
18. someday transfering out of Harper
19. seeing my sister today
20. fall, winter and spring. as well as clouds, leaves and snow.
21. a nosejob
22. meat falls off the face of the earth, and they actually have something for me to eat other than lettuce. i HATE lettuce. (recent development)
23. having your eyes be sore after a crying spree. they kindof tingle
24. my cell phone ringing off the hook with lovely people that all want me and me alone.
25. leaving Timmy out in the rain.

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Thursday, August 31, 2006-)
+8:19 PM]*

# maybe it's the green tea.......-

my brother got shot at today. by the elementary school park. that's fucked up.

i had an ok day at school. i saw my stalker again.

i feel the change in the air. the kind of change that spins your whole world upside down. it's the same kind of wind that was blowing in January. my stomach feels uneasy, and i feel really sad..

i'm usually not lonely, but tonight i feel a bit empty. everyone is conveniently busy tonight. nobody is answering their phone.. and it makes me just want to go to bed early and not wake up tomorrow. i've been doing pretty well over the last couple months.. this is just a low spot. nothing to worry about, and nowhere to go but back up.

maybe i'm sad because the sox lost.

i could really go for some love right this instant, but that's a story for another day...

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Tuesday, August 29, 2006-)
+12:59 AM]*

# in responce to the iliad-- what was homer's problem!?-

arrrrrg.

so i'm sitting here reading the Iliad book 5. why couldn't homer just condense everything and make it a little coffee table book with pictures. i mean.. i know the Trojan war sucked.. and i know it went on for 10 years... but... it's no fun to sit here and read this thing for 3 years.

the weather was perfect today for cuddling in bed, or watching a movie. i watched my buddy Napoleon about 3 times today while doing math and english homework. fun, right?

tried getting ahold of my long lost friend tonight, but it didn't work again.

played a little CIV3, but India was being gay. i hate when they settle a bunch of land before i can get there. i always like getting all of the resources as soon as possible... but India produces settlers like it was nobody's business.

someone come tuck me in and finish reading me my book.

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Monday, August 28, 2006-)
+10:05 AM]*

# deep conversation with Tim part 2-

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Sunday, August 27, 2006-)
+3:54 PM]*

# deep conversation with Tim part 1-

amongst other important things going on in my life, such as school, the dating scene (or lack thereof), now i have to worry about Tim.

before i dive into my story, i suppose i should fill my little bloggy in with all the details of the last... oh.. 2 months.

...
....
.....

and there you have it. my last two months of existance! heh.

currently, i'm feeling: confused. if you want the full details on the reason why, call my cell. i need someone to talk to anyways.
listening to: Matt play his stupid cd over and over
wearing: ..work clothes minus tie. eew.

i shall now rant about the inconsistant playing of the Sox. how is it that the only game i go to, we lose? win big, lose close, win. what's the deal?
in other news related to the Sox, i love jenks, but you already knew that.

unfotunately, i have work again, so i must leave in a hurry. cheers and, call cell.

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Tuesday, July 04, 2006-)
+12:27 PM]*

# merry 4th of july!-

hope your day is full of fireworks, sparklers and a special someone to share yer own personal fireworks with! muah haha

vive le france
viva mexico
god save the queen
o canada!

just remember.. bush isnt adding anything to the celebration. the idiot and his idiotic political campaignes are weakinging the country and will be only remembered longterm for the detrimental effects he had on the nation. yay!! i'll light a stink bomb to that!

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Sunday, July 02, 2006-)
+11:48 PM]*

# PS..we went grocery shopping for the first time for the aparment!!!!-

it was so much fun!!!!

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

+11:38 PM]*

# a whole month!-

how i've missed you so, little bloggy.

so much has happened since i last left you.

mike was ditched by his dick of a "friend" Jon 2 weeks before they were supposed to move out. Mike ended up finding a beautiful townhouse fit for a king! it's great!

i've been working, mainly, and trying to keep busy. my uncle went into the hospital today. good news is that he just needed a water enema. yay. i guess..... it was more a relief to my family and i than to him, i imagine!

sox won yesterday!
cubs won today :-/

i think it's very stupid that the six guys from the sox who made it in the allstar game aren't even starters. how dumb!! Thome doesn't deserve to be wasting away on the bench while some idiot from Pittsburg plays in outfield.. same with Dye!

tomorrow, Mike and i are going downtown to the Taste to see the fireworks! yay! tradition! i still need to figure out what exactly i'm going to bring for our picnic. :-D it makes me feel so happy!!

well, i need to get up early in order to drive mite to work. eee.

lub ewe! merry 4th!

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Thursday, June 08, 2006-)
+10:43 PM]*

# non-existant-

i'm tainted. beyond belief.

someone put me down, for the sake of humanity.

i thought i was a good person.
obviously that doesn't matter to life.

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Monday, April 17, 2006-)
+3:14 PM]*

# happy-

watched the narsty sex lady on the o channel last night!!!!

i'm very happy today

very happy.. yet tired.

gots work from 5-12. :-( that's alot of time...)

i need a nappy. l8r sk8r

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________

(Sunday, April 09, 2006-)
+12:40 AM]*

# ditching-

yay. playing sick in order to get out of work is fun.

loved the mike
sucked at softball.

:-*

the story ends like this..
________________________________________________________________________________